Exam period.

2 papers down, 4 more to go.

Tmr is my exam for TV Production I.

And here I am blogging, complaining, wasting my time. @@

Sigh. I dont know why I have no mood to study.

Initially wanted to start earlier, but I have to drag it until today.

I seriously can't wait for Finals to finish.

Can't wait to have my freedom back.

Can't wait to hang out with my friends.

I'm really very very tired.

This semester had really drained out all the energy in me.

Oh ya, have I mentioned next sem I will be going for my internship?

Yea.. I'll be working at RTM.

And the department I'll be working at is Ai FM.

Lucky? Or not?

Well, I don't know.

We'll have to wait and see.

******************************

H.U.R.T.

If only words can define this four letter word.

Why did it turn out this way? I keep asking myself.

I don't know how I landed in this position.

I don't know how can I fall so hard.

I don't know how to explain.

I don't know how to begin.

Words you said pierced through my heart.

It's broken into pieces, nobody could ever mend it back.

It really does hurts.

How long I've kept this feeling to myself, I don't know.

Ever since that day, I tried to avoid you.

I tried to ignore, I tried to forget.

But, I failed miserably.

Why did you have to message me?

Why do you have to remind me back of all the pain?

Why.... ??

You're the person I used to called my "Soulmate".

You're the person I used to called my "best friend".

But everything will never be the same anymore.

All the sms-es you sent me, puts a smile on my face.

I guess no one could ever made me smile like you did. No one could.

H.O.P.E.

I don't know why am I still hoping.

Perhaps for a miracle to happen?

Hoping you would tell me: Everything is just a joke.

But I knew.. its never meant to be.

I'll never ever be a part of you.

People say time can heal everything.

But how long will I take??

I couldn't deny that at this moment I still cared for you.

I still missed you.

I still loved you.

Perhaps much more that anyone else would.

But I will try my best.

To forget about everything.

To erase you from my memory.

To erase the name that I remembered so clearly.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest,

Hurts the deepest and

Feels the strongest.

It's been 6 years, I fell in love with you.

But everything changed in just a split second.

"Wo bu yao zai wei ni liu yan lei le."

A promise I made to myself.

I don't wish to fall in love again; coz I don't wanna get hurt anymore.

Finally, the most hectic week is over.
But NO! That doesn't mean that I can relax yet.
Still have heaps of workload waiting to be done. =(
Presentations and a few assignments due date in the coming week.
Sigh.. when can I escape from this torture?
3 weeks from now? which means after week 14?
Noooo... It will be final exam that time. After that internship.
So it means that I couldn't take a break after all.
The never-ending work. Haizzz.

On a happier note, yesternight was Earth Day.
So did you turn off the lights?
For me, I did turn off the lights but not the electricity~
Well, they said turn off the lights only right? =P
Didn't say anything about electricity tho. Hahaha.
Anw, am just glad to have contributed to the Earth Day. =)

******************************

Tagged by Ms. Anna. =D

If you're Asian you GOTTA take this quiz.
If you're not, envy the Asians.

So, how 'asian' are you?????

[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[ ] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[x] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
[x] You eat rice almost everyday
[ ] You drink lemon tea

X's so far: 4

[ ] You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict compared to other REALLY asian parents
[ ] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x] You always get A's/B's on your report
[ ] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis
[ ] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge

X's so far: 8

[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[x] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[ ] (If you're a girl)You prefer white guys over asian guys (If you're a guy) You prefer asian girls
[x] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games

X's so far: 16

[x] Every time you're going out your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[x] You know BOA/Gazette/Ayumi Hamasaki/Gackt
[x] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[ ] You own a gaming console
[x] You play a musical instrument
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[ ] You get nothing if you do well in school

X's so far: 22

[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[ ] You don't like football(soccer)
[x] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb mean
[ ] You know what purikura is
[ ] You like bubble tea
[ ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[x] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies

X's so far: 25

[x] You know what bok choy is
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[x] You have a tutor
[ ] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[x] When you seek for your mother's permission she replies "Ask your dad"

X's so far: 28

Your total x 2
Result: 56%

wakakak.. so I'm considered ASIAN lol~ Xp
Btw, just taking a break from the heavy workload.
And now, its time for me to resume my oh-so-boring work. @@

You just didn't get my hints.

Assignments needed to be handed in Week 11:

1. CRM report (24 March)
2. CRM presentation (24 March)
3. Media Planning report (25 March)
4. IA report (27 March)
5. TV filler (28 March)

plus Screenplay & Scriptwriting mid-term (27 March).

See la. Whole week no need sleep edi lu.
Stress. Stress. Stress.
I need to relax. I want to go watch movie! =(

Sigh. Yesterday finally finished the media planning calculation.
Count count count.
Everytime over budget then have to recount again.
Count until my eyes also @@ edi.
See calculator also feel like running 100 miles away! Phobia edi!
Dream also dream of numbers! =.="
Seriously. From 3pm count until 12am!
Count until I forgot to take my dinner!
So I only eat at 12 smtg am. Sad case betul.

Fine la. Don't want to complain liao.
I so need to go and finish up my CRM report edi.
If not, no need to eat and sleep lu.
Assignments all are piling up as high as the mountain.
Sigh. May God bless me~

I wish you would tell me how you feel.

I am super duper busy this sem.
Until I have no time to eat and sleep.
Seriously, 6 subjects + internship thingy.
It's really killing me.
Stress, stress n more stress.
I don't think I have been this stress before.
Aiks~

Week 8 (2 - 8 March 2009). Our production week.
I was staying at Ruby's house from Mon to Thurs.
Yup, 4 days didn't go home.
I miss my internet. And my bed. And my pillow.
LoL.

So production week.
Well, we went shooting at setapak.
Bukit Antarabangsa to be exact.
It was far.. around 1 hour drive.
Drive until my eyes @@ liao.
And everyday come back PJ around 3/4/5am.
Its so scaryyy to drive that time.
Especially there isn't a single car on the road.
Also I'm sleep deprived for the whole week.
Slept about 3/4 hours a day.
There's also one night where we didn't sleep at all. Sigh.
And and.. people go shooting, we also go shooting.
But we go shooting until we got saman!! @@
5 samans for 5 cars! Omg~
Our budget also going to reach RM1000 liao. Haizz.

Week 9 (9 - 13 March 2009).
Rushing to write the script like hell.
I wrote 27 pages. All in one week.
Gonna become superwoman liao. Haha.
The day before we need to pass up the script.....
I didn't sleep the whole night. AT ALL.
Juz to finish up the script.

So I finish up the script at aroud 2am.
Then I write a synopsis.
By the time I finish it was around 3am.
Then I decided to recheck my whole script.
In case there's any grammar mistake or something.
Check check check.
By the time I finish checking it was already 6 smtg am.
So no time for me to sleep.
Some more want to print that time got some problem.
Try to fix the problem but cannot. Stupid software la!
Make me miss my lecture class at 8am.
Haizz.. unlucky betul.

Next week is week 10 already.
Need to rush for 3 assignments to be handed in Week 11.
And I have a midterm tomorrow. Sigh.
So I think I better go study now.
If not I will D.I.E.

Will try to squeeze in the time to blog some other day.
That is if I manage to find the time.
Time is so so precious for me now.
Hahaha~

Didn't you notice a soul is slowly dying?

Happy Valentines Day!!

Or should I say Happy Single Awareness Day??
Haha.. just joking only.. Dont take it too seriously alright?
Anw, I just wanna wish all my blog readers, Happy Valentines Day o!
Do appreciate the person you love k.
And to my daddy, mummy, brother, cousins n friends.. I love you!!
You know I always do right? Xp

This year Valentines have been special for me.
Nope, its not because I received flowers.
Or went to a candlelight dinner.
BUT.. It's simply because of..........


DANELL~!! At One Fm Valentine's Day Concert! =)

I was greatly mesmerized by his voice that whole night!!
Ohh.. how he made me smile and made my day so memorable.
What else could I ask for?
This is the greatest way to celebrate my Valentine night. Xp

This is the Valentine's Day card that Danell made by himself.
Aww.. so sweeeet of him right? Xp
Ohh.. And I think Im falling in love with his voice all over again.

Btw, I love you Danell. I always have and I always will.
Even tho I know I seldom goes to your events nowadays. @@
BUT, you will ALWAYS be my idol okie. Now and forever.
You are always the BEST singer in my heart. ^^

***************

有时候我真的很想问你,
你对我有什么感觉?
可是我就是没有勇敢.
没有勇敢面对那个答案.

这情人节, 我第一个想起的人.. 是你。
那是代表什么呢?
我真得爱上了你吗?

I think Im in love with you.

Actually, I don't really like to do tags one geh.
But I've decided to do it since I've been tag by Lay Lee and Anna.
Erm.. have to "bei min" a bit lar.. hahaha Xp

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1. I hate insects! Seriously.. no matter what kind of insects. If I see one.. its either I'll scream my lungs out or run 100 miles away!

2. I love singing. Although I dont sing out loud, but deep down I still have a passion for it.

3. I wish to meet all my idols personally. Wish to get to know them closer.. hang out with them. Well, that's the main reason why I took up broadcasting course in the first place. Xp

4. I am underweight. And too thin/skinny. I wish to grow fatter sometimes. Its sooo hard for me to shop for clothes. @@

5. I look too young for my age. Many people dont believe me when I say Im 21. YES, I'm officially legal already. =)

6. I have a very poor sense of direction. I always couldnt remember the ways or roads. I think I have to use the road 10 times or more than only I can remember it. *sigh*

7. I hate eating vegetables. Dont ask me why, I just dont like it. I always pick my vege out from my meal. *swt*

8. I hate it when Im talking to someone and they ignore me. Don't you think that kind of attitude is juz so rude?

9. I feels that some of my friends are being overly childish at times.

10. I wish I could travel around the world someday. I would want to travel to different countries and take pictures of some beautiful scenery and breath-taking environment.

11. Many times I feel like I've been taken for granted. Since primary school until now, people juz used me and they dont appreciate what I have done for them.

12. I am a quiet person. That's the first impression I gave to everyone. And I am very bad at starting a conversation. Seriously. But I will be VERY talkative if you're close to me.

13. I want to be somebody in the future. Especially in the broadcasting industry.

14. In my 21 years of living, I have never go clubbing or drinking before. Guai leh... But sadly, my cousins keep on influencing me. @@

15. Sometimes, my friends do get on my nerves and make me angry. And when Im angry, I will be superbly quiet. So if u see that Im too quiet one day, u know what Im feeling la ya~ Xp

16. I seriously dont know how to say "NO" to people. Everytime someone ask me for help, I'll surely help them even tho it means bringing trouble to myself. Which is why I am always being taken advantage of.

17. My parents always say that Im too soft hearted and too kind. I cant stand when someone says "please" coz I know I will go all the way out to help them.

18. I like to keep all my feelings to myself. I dont know how to share them with anyone. And I dont think I'll show it in my facial expression. If Im too sad, worst come to worst, I'll juz cry myself to sleep.

19. I think I am quite weak. Since young, I've been to the hospital for dunno how many times already. Luckily, as I grow up, I didnt get sick as often as last time. But still, sometimes I will feel giddy/pening.. which I dunno why it has not recover after 9 long years??? o.O

20. I am an idol chaser. I supports many local artist and went to many of their events. All of them are nice people and very friendly. Which is why I damn kau HATE when people insults my idols or talk bad about them!

21. I am silly/stupid when it comes to love and relationships. I still remember I have loved a person *as in secretly* for 6 years without that person knowing it. And I did do many silly things and sacrifice a lot for him.

22. I got hurt deeply before. So deep that I eventually lost trust in any relationship. After so long, the scar is still there and the wound has not heal. Sigh.. A guy's promise could never be trusted.

23. I am quite lazy sometimes. All I do at home is watch tv, on9, read storybooks and daydreaming. Haha Xp

24. I love playing piano. But I juz dont have the initiative to complete playing a song. @@

25. I am very much afraid of making decisions or choices. Im afraid of making the wrong decision and I knows that once I made a choice, there will be no turning back.

I tag whoever who reads this~ ^^

Had reunion dinner with family and relatives last Sunday.
Check out these conversations I had with them. LOL~

Uncle : eh u studying broadcasting right?
Me : yup yup.
Uncle : ohh.. next time where u wanna work? Work in an advertising firm la..
Me : err.. but I more interested in broadcasting laa..
Uncle : Advertising firm got more job opportunities ma. Broadcasting industry is so small. Last time I also work in an advertising firm one. I can introduce u some job if u want.
Me : But I not really interested in advertising leh. Im not good in design n drawing le. I want to work in a tv station ma.
Uncle : ohh.. like that arr.. after graduate then only see how la. But I think u will end up in advertising industry.
Me : swt~ =.="

Then during dinner time..

Auntie : eh mun mun.. how come u come alone one geh?
Me : huh? what u mean?
Auntie : yala.. y u never bring ur bf come.. Introduce to us ma.
Me : har?? since when I say I got bf wor..
Auntie : aiyo.. u so lenglui now. Sure got many guys chase one geh.
Me : Where got wor?! Aiks.. nobody want me leh~
Auntie : Aiya.. no need shy shy la.. Bring him come ma.. then we can interview him..
Me : Swt! I saying serious la.. I memang dun hav bf ma~
Auntie : Really meh? Then next CNY bring him come ok?
Me : Aiks~ *runs away*

When Im peacefully watching tv...

Cousin : hey hey.. u sms-ing who ah?
Me : My frens ma.. they wish me, so I reply their msg only ma.
Cousin : Fren ah? Not bf meh?
Me : o.O.. Frens la! U wan to check my inbox or not??
Cousin : Ok la ok la.. dun angry la.. then where ur bf?
Me : Ish! I dun hav bf la.. aiyo, u n auntie same only..
Cousin : Coz we care about u ma.. U so pretty.. Sure got bf one ma...
Me : wah! Juz see my face only then u all think I got bf liao a.. Can become fortune teller edi lor~ Xp

Sigh.. see la.
This is what happen everytime I goes back for reunion dinner.
Haiz haiz.. Next year I really wanna hide myself edi.
Once I step inside my uncle's house.. everyone will start asking me questions.
Until I feel like digging a hole and burying myself inside the ground.
LOL~

Im only going back to Kampar on either Sat or Sun.
haizz.. Damn late I know.
Everyone's returning from hometown already.
But I only starting to go there.
What to do.. have to follow parents ma.

And and.. I have to start on all my assignments soon.
The deadlines are getting nearer.
I dont want to do last minute job again. Sigh.
But... Im still so in my CNY mood. =/
Btw, I didnt go for a class today! Hehe.
Yup, I ponteng. Aiks~
Who would want to go to class on the 3rd day of CNY la. Aiyo.


A random pic I took sometime ago.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!! 新年快乐！

I know I was MIA for almost 2 weeks.
Really sorry for that.
I was really very busy ever since uni started.
Eventho it only started for 2 weeks...
But we already have so many assignments to do.

Sigh.
CNY is so so so near.
Yet I dont have the mood to celebrate it.
Yup, its all those assignments fault!
We have to do this research that research in the CNY week!
Okie so during CNY, my cousins n brother will be busy playing..
BUT I will stuck in my room doing those ASSIGNMENTS.
Oh how "great!" What a "wonderful" celebration. =.="

Sigh.
I guess after CNY, it will be a more hectic life for me.
So many assignments to do yet the time given is so limited.
Plus all the due dates are so near. >_<
And not forgetting our mid term too.
OMG~I~will~be~dead~by~then~

UTAR never fails to make their students miserable.

Uni is starting tomorrow!
La la la la la~
No seriously...
I am NOT excited nor happy.
There's exactly NOTHING for me to look forward to.
Except for the heaps of assignments that is on their way. @@

The feelings are coming back too.
Yes! I can feel them coming nearer and nearer to me.
The feelings of anxiety.. stress.. worries..
Everything will be back to me by tomorrow.
Aiks aiks.. 6 subjects. 6 miserable subjects.
Will I be able to survive by the end of this semester? >_<

No longer the same.

I know I know.. I didnt blog for 3 days. Xp
But forgive me la! Im internet-less these few days.
Coz I went to my uncle's house to stay/enjoy/relax.
Err.. sorry.. I think I should say..
I went there to bored myself to death. >_<>Haha!

But come to think of it.. its quite good in a way also la.
I get to relax myself.. isolate myself from the busy city life.
Doing things that that I dont usually do.. like jogging! hahaha Xp
Get to breath in the fresh air.. and feel the early morning breeze.
I really feel so peaceful during my stay there.
No stress. No headaches. No rushing. No worries. No anything. =)

******************************

On a random note, I highlighted my hair today!
Okie dun ask me how I look. >_<>Haha.. maybe Im not used to it YET.
But I think I will get use to it SOON. Xp

I trusted you before, but not now anymore.