不许哭 - 云美鑫

进一步或 退一步 结局一样是未知数
被羡慕也 被忌妒 当我的手被你握住
想起当初如何被守护 嚐尽了甜头也吃过了苦
翻着回忆不断地阅读 我们付出如此投入

我告诉自己无论如何不许哭
被你放弃不是最痛的输
也许对你温柔拥抱还有贪图
我已准备 觉悟

我告诉自己无论如何不许哭
因为至少我们曾经被祝福
如果留下伤口要微笑着康復
我应该满足 我非常满足

想起当初如何被守护 嚐尽了甜头也吃过了苦
翻着回忆不断地阅读 我们付出如此投入

我告诉自己无论如何不许哭
被你放弃不是最痛的输
也许对你温柔拥抱还有贪图
我已准备 觉悟

我告诉自己无论如何不许哭
因为至少我们曾经被祝福
如果留下伤口要微笑着康復
我应该满足 我非常满足

******************************

I love to listen to this song.

Somehow or rather, it tells me to be strong.

Tells me not to cry so easily.

Tells me that everything will be ok.

It gives me the courage.

And sort of comfort me when I feel down.

Like now. =(

So pain, it hurts.

Today is the third day of the new semester.

Went back to UTAR eventho there's no class today.

Went to support 大日子 WooHoo Movie Sharing Session.

The event ended around 6pm.

Erm.. actually not until so late laa...

I stayed back because I wanted to take pic with the artistes.

Hahaha.^^

As you know, 6pm is a bad bad time to travel in the highway.

The traffic jam damn teruk teruk!

I used 1 hour 30 mins to reach home.

From PJ back to Subang need to take so long.

Ish Ish.. reach home damn tired.

But but... a little bit of sacrifice is okie.

Coz.. I got to take pic with Bernard Hiew! ^^

Omg... he is sooo cuteee! *melts*

******************************

I hate to be controlled by people.

If its my family member, then it's ok.

But you... who do you think you are?

You don't have the right to control me.

I don't need to report to you every single little thing in my life.

And you don't have the right to scold me for that!

Your attitude really despise me.

Stop being so childish and pls grow up!

And, I really mean what I say.

My life would be so much better without your existence.

So pls stay away from me. Thankyouverymuch.

Some people just don't understand.

Uni is reopening on Monday.

I felt excited yet dreaded for this day to come. ><

Excited is because it is my last sem as a uni student.

Dreaded is because of all the assignments that are waiting for me.

Monday. 8am class.

I seriously hope that I can wake up.

Ever since the holidays started...

I slept at 5am and wake up at 3pm. =(

My clock became upside down already. Aiks.

This time the timetable doesn't look too bad for me.

At least we have wednesday off.

And the other days also not so hectic.

Hehe.

My holidays have been wonderful as well.

Even tho this holidays is just 3 weeks...

but I felt as though it is 2 months!!

Maybe coz I had been going out almost everyday. Sigh ><

Had many gatherings and meet ups.

Met up with long lost friends... classmates...

High school friends... primary friends....

Plus a holiday trip with my family. ^^

So new semester. New hope.

I really hope so.

Seriously gonna work hard for this sem.

And and... i'm gonna graduate soon.

Can't wait for it. =)

No inspiration to write quote today.

World Vision Event with Danell Lee

I think the title speaks for itself. Hahaha.

So I went to his event at Tropicana City Mall last Saturday.

What more can I say? I'm totally in love with him!!

It's been ages since I last saw him.

Haizz. The disadvantage of being short.

All the photos I capture is not really nice. Sigh.

The people in front of me were freaking tall!! =(

But anw, I got to take a personal pic with him!!

My first ever personal pic with Danell Lee after all these years of supporting!

And that's what matters most. Hehehe. ^^

After the event, I went to walk around the mall. Alone.

Haha. But I don't feel lonely.

Coz I always like to shop alone one geh. ><

Brought this Top from a shop called Asian Heritage.

This Top cost me RM77. So expensive! ><

So much damage from my wallet. ><

Haiz.. decided to go home after that to prevent more damage.

Hahaha.. but i go home as a happy happy girl!

Because of one person!

The picture of the day! <3

Still as friendly as ever, still as amazing as ever.

Your voice still mesmerize me after 5 long years.

So much influences, so much changes.. because of your existence.

You coloured my life, it will never be the same without you.

Thank you Danell, for everything! =)

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

HAPPY 2010

My very first post in 2010.

I realise its been 8 months since my last post! hahaha..

So sorry for that.

It's just simply I'm too busy or I do not have the mood to blog. ><

So many things happened to me in this 8 months.

I've completed my internship in RTM.

Am glad that I met many wonderful people there.

Helpful people as well; that teaches me lots of things.

Things that I will never be able to learn in University.

Not forgetting, those lovely artistes and hosts.

It's my pleasure to meet them and help them as well.

Last day at RTM with my wonderful colleagues.

The programme that I was attached to throughout these 3 months. Hello On Two (HOT) shows on every Mon - Thurs, 7.30am to 8.30am. Many bittersweet memories I have there. All in all I would like to say I miss you guys very much!! HOT rocks!! =)

Actually there is still many pictures about my internship.

But posting everything on blogspot will take alot of time.

So if you all want to see other pictures, just check out my facebook ya. Hehe =)

After internship, we have this short sem with 3 subjects.

Eventho its just 3 subjects, but we were rushing for the deadline like hell.

Can say towards the end of the sem, I only slept 2 hours a day.

Torturing, I know.

The bed is so tempting at that moment;

but I know once I lie down, my assignment is gone.

I won't be able to finish it on time.

So I force my eyes to open while my brain is half dead. ><

To cut the long story short, I manage to finish all my assignments on time.

But there's this particular subject, Film Appreciation, makes me worry the most.

It requires us to analyze the film that we see; and it's super difficult.

After the Finals, I seriously thought I would failed.

I thought I couldn't graduate this May.

I was very dissapointed with myself.

And for the first time, I cried because of EXAM.

It really makes my semester break very miserable.

But but.. after today, all my burden seem to be lifted off my shoulder.

My final examinations result came out jor. ^^

Yesterday I stayed up whole night just to log into intranet.

And finally I managed to go in at 7.50am. ==

I nervously scrolled down.. and...

I PASSED. I PASSED ALL MY SUBJECTS.

Almost can't believe my eyes.. I checked the name again. ><

Whoa.. It's true. I am so so lucky. I kept thanking God.

No need to say, my CGPA dropped gau gau.

BUT.. I am just so glad that I passed the subject that I feared so much. =)

Lesson learned. No last minute studying from now onwards.

Exam period.

2 papers down, 4 more to go.

Tmr is my exam for TV Production I.

And here I am blogging, complaining, wasting my time. @@

Sigh. I dont know why I have no mood to study.

Initially wanted to start earlier, but I have to drag it until today.

I seriously can't wait for Finals to finish.

Can't wait to have my freedom back.

Can't wait to hang out with my friends.

I'm really very very tired.

This semester had really drained out all the energy in me.

Oh ya, have I mentioned next sem I will be going for my internship?

Yea.. I'll be working at RTM.

And the department I'll be working at is Ai FM.

Lucky? Or not?

Well, I don't know.

We'll have to wait and see.

******************************

H.U.R.T.

If only words can define this four letter word.

Why did it turn out this way? I keep asking myself.

I don't know how I landed in this position.

I don't know how can I fall so hard.

I don't know how to explain.

I don't know how to begin.

Words you said pierced through my heart.

It's broken into pieces, nobody could ever mend it back.

It really does hurts.

How long I've kept this feeling to myself, I don't know.

Ever since that day, I tried to avoid you.

I tried to ignore, I tried to forget.

But, I failed miserably.

Why did you have to message me?

Why do you have to remind me back of all the pain?

Why.... ??

You're the person I used to called my "Soulmate".

You're the person I used to called my "best friend".

But everything will never be the same anymore.

All the sms-es you sent me, puts a smile on my face.

I guess no one could ever made me smile like you did. No one could.

H.O.P.E.

I don't know why am I still hoping.

Perhaps for a miracle to happen?

Hoping you would tell me: Everything is just a joke.

But I knew.. its never meant to be.

I'll never ever be a part of you.

People say time can heal everything.

But how long will I take??

I couldn't deny that at this moment I still cared for you.

I still missed you.

I still loved you.

Perhaps much more that anyone else would.

But I will try my best.

To forget about everything.

To erase you from my memory.

To erase the name that I remembered so clearly.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest,

Hurts the deepest and

Feels the strongest.

It's been 6 years, I fell in love with you.

But everything changed in just a split second.

"Wo bu yao zai wei ni liu yan lei le."

A promise I made to myself.

I don't wish to fall in love again; coz I don't wanna get hurt anymore.

Finally, the most hectic week is over.
But NO! That doesn't mean that I can relax yet.
Still have heaps of workload waiting to be done. =(
Presentations and a few assignments due date in the coming week.
Sigh.. when can I escape from this torture?
3 weeks from now? which means after week 14?
Noooo... It will be final exam that time. After that internship.
So it means that I couldn't take a break after all.
The never-ending work. Haizzz.

On a happier note, yesternight was Earth Day.
So did you turn off the lights?
For me, I did turn off the lights but not the electricity~
Well, they said turn off the lights only right? =P
Didn't say anything about electricity tho. Hahaha.
Anw, am just glad to have contributed to the Earth Day. =)

******************************

Tagged by Ms. Anna. =D

If you're Asian you GOTTA take this quiz.
If you're not, envy the Asians.

So, how 'asian' are you?????

[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[ ] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[x] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
[x] You eat rice almost everyday
[ ] You drink lemon tea

X's so far: 4

[ ] You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict compared to other REALLY asian parents
[ ] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x] You always get A's/B's on your report
[ ] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis
[ ] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge

X's so far: 8

[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[x] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[ ] (If you're a girl)You prefer white guys over asian guys (If you're a guy) You prefer asian girls
[x] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games

X's so far: 16

[x] Every time you're going out your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[x] You know BOA/Gazette/Ayumi Hamasaki/Gackt
[x] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[ ] You own a gaming console
[x] You play a musical instrument
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[ ] You get nothing if you do well in school

X's so far: 22

[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[ ] You don't like football(soccer)
[x] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb mean
[ ] You know what purikura is
[ ] You like bubble tea
[ ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[x] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies

X's so far: 25

[x] You know what bok choy is
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[x] You have a tutor
[ ] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[x] When you seek for your mother's permission she replies "Ask your dad"

X's so far: 28

Your total x 2
Result: 56%

wakakak.. so I'm considered ASIAN lol~ Xp
Btw, just taking a break from the heavy workload.
And now, its time for me to resume my oh-so-boring work. @@

You just didn't get my hints.

Assignments needed to be handed in Week 11:

1. CRM report (24 March)
2. CRM presentation (24 March)
3. Media Planning report (25 March)
4. IA report (27 March)
5. TV filler (28 March)

plus Screenplay & Scriptwriting mid-term (27 March).

See la. Whole week no need sleep edi lu.
Stress. Stress. Stress.
I need to relax. I want to go watch movie! =(

Sigh. Yesterday finally finished the media planning calculation.
Count count count.
Everytime over budget then have to recount again.
Count until my eyes also @@ edi.
See calculator also feel like running 100 miles away! Phobia edi!
Dream also dream of numbers! =.="
Seriously. From 3pm count until 12am!
Count until I forgot to take my dinner!
So I only eat at 12 smtg am. Sad case betul.

Fine la. Don't want to complain liao.
I so need to go and finish up my CRM report edi.
If not, no need to eat and sleep lu.
Assignments all are piling up as high as the mountain.
Sigh. May God bless me~

I wish you would tell me how you feel.

I am super duper busy this sem.
Until I have no time to eat and sleep.
Seriously, 6 subjects + internship thingy.
It's really killing me.
Stress, stress n more stress.
I don't think I have been this stress before.
Aiks~

Week 8 (2 - 8 March 2009). Our production week.
I was staying at Ruby's house from Mon to Thurs.
Yup, 4 days didn't go home.
I miss my internet. And my bed. And my pillow.
LoL.

So production week.
Well, we went shooting at setapak.
Bukit Antarabangsa to be exact.
It was far.. around 1 hour drive.
Drive until my eyes @@ liao.
And everyday come back PJ around 3/4/5am.
Its so scaryyy to drive that time.
Especially there isn't a single car on the road.
Also I'm sleep deprived for the whole week.
Slept about 3/4 hours a day.
There's also one night where we didn't sleep at all. Sigh.
And and.. people go shooting, we also go shooting.
But we go shooting until we got saman!! @@
5 samans for 5 cars! Omg~
Our budget also going to reach RM1000 liao. Haizz.

Week 9 (9 - 13 March 2009).
Rushing to write the script like hell.
I wrote 27 pages. All in one week.
Gonna become superwoman liao. Haha.
The day before we need to pass up the script.....
I didn't sleep the whole night. AT ALL.
Juz to finish up the script.

So I finish up the script at aroud 2am.
Then I write a synopsis.
By the time I finish it was around 3am.
Then I decided to recheck my whole script.
In case there's any grammar mistake or something.
Check check check.
By the time I finish checking it was already 6 smtg am.
So no time for me to sleep.
Some more want to print that time got some problem.
Try to fix the problem but cannot. Stupid software la!
Make me miss my lecture class at 8am.
Haizz.. unlucky betul.

Next week is week 10 already.
Need to rush for 3 assignments to be handed in Week 11.
And I have a midterm tomorrow. Sigh.
So I think I better go study now.
If not I will D.I.E.

Will try to squeeze in the time to blog some other day.
That is if I manage to find the time.
Time is so so precious for me now.
Hahaha~

Didn't you notice a soul is slowly dying?

Happy Valentines Day!!

Or should I say Happy Single Awareness Day??
Haha.. just joking only.. Dont take it too seriously alright?
Anw, I just wanna wish all my blog readers, Happy Valentines Day o!
Do appreciate the person you love k.
And to my daddy, mummy, brother, cousins n friends.. I love you!!
You know I always do right? Xp

This year Valentines have been special for me.
Nope, its not because I received flowers.
Or went to a candlelight dinner.
BUT.. It's simply because of..........


DANELL~!! At One Fm Valentine's Day Concert! =)

I was greatly mesmerized by his voice that whole night!!
Ohh.. how he made me smile and made my day so memorable.
What else could I ask for?
This is the greatest way to celebrate my Valentine night. Xp

This is the Valentine's Day card that Danell made by himself.
Aww.. so sweeeet of him right? Xp
Ohh.. And I think Im falling in love with his voice all over again.

Btw, I love you Danell. I always have and I always will.
Even tho I know I seldom goes to your events nowadays. @@
BUT, you will ALWAYS be my idol okie. Now and forever.
You are always the BEST singer in my heart. ^^

***************

有时候我真的很想问你,
你对我有什么感觉?
可是我就是没有勇敢.
没有勇敢面对那个答案.

这情人节, 我第一个想起的人.. 是你。
那是代表什么呢?
我真得爱上了你吗?

I think Im in love with you.